Soulpreneur Scaling Stories Podcast: 37. From Creative Virtual Assistant to Marketing & Messaging Coach | Abby McKendry

Join me as I chat with Abbey McKendry, a Marketing and Messaging Coach with a passion for transforming burnout into aligned business bliss.

Abbey gets real about how cookie-cutter strategies led her to burnout and how she found her magic touch in coaching through a process of honest introspection. 

In this episode, you’ll discover:
✨ The sneaky signs of burnout
✨ Why following cookie-cutter strategies is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole
✨ How being ‘too sensitive’ became Abby’s secret weapon
✨ The magical art of aligning your business with your soul

Whether you’re a VA drowning in to-do lists, an OBM wondering if there’s more to life than project management, or a service provider feeling ‘meh’ about your business, this episode is your permission slip to break free from the cookie-cutter mold and embrace your unique magic.

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[00:00:00] Andrea Elibero: Andrea here, your host and passionate business coach and scaling strategist for Soulful Service Providers and Coaches. Welcome to another episode of Soulpreneur Scaling Stories. Have you ever wanted to look behind the curtain of your fellow entrepreneur’s business to see what actually went into scaling it?

[00:00:22] Well, you are in for a treat because that’s exactly what we are doing here. In each episode, we will be uncovering the truth behind the lessons and the stories behind what it truly takes for sole preneurs to scale their businesses intentionally. I’m hoping that their stories will help you to unlock the true potential of your business so you can create your own soulful, abundant and aligned laptop lifestyle through intentional scaling.

[00:00:46] So whether you’re just starting out on your scaling journey or you’re a seasoned entrepreneur seeking inspiration, this episode has something incredible in store for you. Are you ready to rise, grow and create? Create a business that fully supports your dream life. Well, let’s [00:01:00] dive in before we begin.

[00:01:02] Make sure to hit that subscribe buttons. You never miss an empowering episode filled with real stories and soulful insights.

[00:01:11] Hey, hello. I’m so excited to welcome Abbey McKendry, Marketing and Messaging Coach to Soulpreneur Scaling Stories today. Hey Abbey, how are you? Welcome.

[00:01:22] Abby McKendry: Hi, thank you. I’m really good. Thank you. Very, very excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Okay.

[00:01:29] Andrea Elibero: lots of fun stuff today. And I wanted to start out before we even like dive into anything is when, uh, you had filled out my little application and said, okay, like, what’s your story? You had talked about burnout, like burnout was a key, it was a key thing in your application.

[00:01:48] So what’s up? What happened? So. First of all, so that’s what we’re going to get into, but let’s introduce yourself properly and tell us what you do [00:02:00] in your business.

[00:02:01] Abby McKendry: So I’m Abby. I’m a marketing and messaging coach for heart centered entrepreneurs. So I provide coaching and mentorship for businesses to scale a way, as I always say, that lights up your soul as well as your bank account. And I pivoted my business from. Done for you services, which ties into the burnout story.

[00:02:24] And I’m at the stages of my business now of really just centering in on that alignment and doing what I love and bringing that more alignment to everything to make sure that I do not hit burnout again, and that doesn’t happen either.

[00:02:37] Andrea Elibero: This is music to my, to my soul because yes, I can highly relate. So, so let’s talk about it. Let’s dive into some of the juicy stuff, like right off the bat. So let’s, so let’s talk about the done for you, burnout, paint us the picture. What was going on in your business at that time?

[00:02:56] Abby McKendry: So I got to a point. So when I started my [00:03:00] business, I had no idea what online business entrepreneurship look like. I come from a background in marketing and the first thing that I saw when I looked into the online business space was being a virtual assistant and

[00:03:12] Andrea Elibero: I was the same, the exact same. Yeah, I was looking, I was in my job as a nurse and I was like, what can I do where I can help people that’s location independent? And I came across the virtual, I can do that. Let’s go. Yeah.

[00:03:25] Abby McKendry: I think that was a whole wave of it a few years ago where being a virtual assistant was the thing. And so when you’re like looking how to start an online business, that was the thing that came up like for you and me both, and I’m sure for a lot of other people. And so it was like, yeah, I can do this.

[00:03:39] I was specifically a creative virtual assistant with my background in marketing and design. So I have no idea what to do. I jumped in with that and I grew quite quickly. Because I had no idea, I had no experience, no one around me, my personal life with experience of online business or entrepreneurship. I very much relied on other people’s [00:04:00] content and courses and things like that.

[00:04:02] And I quickly fell into a way because I was growing and not, I didn’t know how to scale. I was, Consuming a lot of content, listening to a lot of other people. There are a lot of cookie cutter strategies flying around at that time. And so not having the experience or knowledge, I did lean into that and I started pivoting and growing my business in the way that I thought I should.

[00:04:27] And that the noise online was telling me wasn’t the only way to be successful

[00:04:31] Andrea Elibero: So quick question for

[00:04:33] Abby McKendry: like X, Y, Z.

[00:04:34] Andrea Elibero: Yeah. Um, were you in my body at this time? Because we, I did the same because there were there, and it’s funny, and I think it’s still the same. It’s almost like the, it’s the loudest voices, you know? It’s the ones you’re like, oh, like they have a lot of followers, so they must know what they’re doing.

[00:04:49] Or this, you know, and I think that creates this like cyclone, it’s like this funnel of people all kind of gravitating. towards this one specific way that they say that this like [00:05:00] one person, I don’t know, somehow determined like, this is the way that you grow a business when you’re a service provider, period, end of story.

[00:05:06] And I don’t know, I hope, I don’t know if it’s just because now I’ve been, this was 2019 for me when I started, so now it’s been a hot minute. And now I’ve been around, you know, so much more and have really connected with people who are more like me and you and, you know, about the alignment and doing, um, what you actually should be doing and all of this.

[00:05:24] And that’s why this is like my, my focus in life. And, and I’m so passionate about it is like, because of this and because of, and again, we’re going to get into your story, the burnout because of the burnout, because of the unhappiness. I even Googled, this was like a couple of months ago. I Googled out of curiosity, how do you scale as a virtual assistant?

[00:05:43] And there was almost no information. It was just like, have an agency. And that was it. And I was flabbergasted. So. So I don’t know, do you think that the, the landscape has changed a bit or do you think we’ve just been here for a minute and we’ve found our people in terms of the, the [00:06:00] cookie cutter advice and, and, and things like this?

[00:06:03] Abby McKendry: I would like to say the landscape has changed, but as you say, because we found our people, we found our audience, we do things in a way that feels aligned. We only teach certain methods in certain ways. I, I don’t know if that impacts that I feel like, The landscape, the industry has changed, or if it’s just because we no longer focus on the outside noise and we’re so certain in what we’re doing.

[00:06:27] I would like to say both because I’m sure that you know anyone with a business or even not with a business who consumes content knows that because of things like AI, Celebrity endorsements influences over the past few years because of the growth of that as consumers. We are create craving authenticity and connection more than ever.

[00:06:48] Right? So I would like to think that that has an impact on the online business space. Of how people are interacting with content and therefore how businesses are growing and [00:07:00] what’s being taught and what’s being talked about. But as you say, I found my audience. I found my rhythm. I know what feels good for me.

[00:07:07] And so my vision of how the space is now may be impacted because I no longer listen to that outside noise. What do you think?

[00:07:17] Andrea Elibero: Right. No, I agree with you. I also, it was a really good point and a good reminder that, um, That yes, that brand, even brands and influences and all of this, there’s a, there is a call towards being more authentic and, and not being so, so cookie cutter, to put it nicely. So I would like to think and hope that this carries over into the online space as well.

[00:07:38] And I do think there is a general trend towards this, people are tired of the space. perfection, you know, because they know it’s fake. People, they know it’s fake, right? So, but along the same lines, right? Like, I have my people, I like, have this amazing community, and, and so it’s like, oh, is it just my community?

[00:07:53] Or, you know, what happens when people are, are new nowadays? So I’m hoping that, you know, people like us, there’s just more and more [00:08:00] people like us who, who are out there and more easily findable for, lack of better terms. So that way people know that there are alternative ways of doing things than just these, you know, these ways that people tell you, quote unquote, have to.

[00:08:15] So let’s go back into your story about this, you know, having to scale and grow and have no idea, you know, what to do and what was going on in that space. So go ahead and continue on with that. Yep.

[00:08:27] Abby McKendry: noise of that cookie cutter strategy, these perfect, you know, almost like influencer like coaches and business owners who, as you say, have these tens of thousands of followers. And so you went, when you’re new to the space, you do instantly think, don’t you, Oh, well that must be how you be successful.

[00:08:42] They must know what they’re talking about. And so you fall into this trap almost of buying these courses or coaching or whatever it is. from somebody that maybe does just teach, for me anyway, my experience is someone that taught their way of doing things, the [00:09:00] way that they got big, that maybe worked at that time, that doesn’t work for everybody, but not only does it not work for everybody, it doesn’t feel good for everybody.

[00:09:08] So I was consuming a lot of other people’s content and comparing myself. And then of course I was going to these. business owners with tens of thousands of followers that were teaching their very specific way of doing things. And sometimes that does work for people. That can be fine if that’s your thing, but it wasn’t for me.

[00:09:23] And so I

[00:09:25] Andrea Elibero: so sorry, I’m going to interrupt you again, because this is such an important point, because it’s not just with service providers, like, as so I’m also an online business manager, and I’ve had clients do similar programs, or it’s very step by step. This is how I got big. This is how you get big too.

[00:09:39] And them telling me they paid 10, 000, you know, like they pay all this money for these crazy big programs. And all the students in the side, the programs were complaining that it wasn’t working. And, um, Back then, you know, I was like, oh that’s interesting, you know, like not really understanding perhaps a hundred percent why but now I totally [00:10:00] know why.

[00:10:00] One is because like it doesn’t make any sense, right? If you step back and think about it, it doesn’t make sense that for you to follow step by step of what somebody else does. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to be successful. It sounds good. It sounds like a good thing. you know, mean that. But if their marketing is based on video or something, and like, you’re not that great at showing up on video, like, it’s not going to work for you.

[00:10:23] If, you know, like, there’s so many little factors where it really is all about your unique magic and the thing, like, where you show up best. And what if their thing is, like, I had a client recently who did this whole launch thing with this big, like, launch coach and, and it was so complicated for, like, she was miserable the whole time and sold less and did more work because it wasn’t.

[00:10:44] like it didn’t align with her and how she wanted to show up in her energy. So it really is about like experimenting, playing around and finding the thing that you’re aligned with, period. And it’s not about these cookie cutter things. Like, yeah, it’s great to learn, you know, but it like, it literally [00:11:00] doesn’t work.

[00:11:00] Like I think for hardly anybody, I’m convinced of this, but like very few people actually get results. And I’m so surprised that there’s so many of these programs and so many ones that are so successful because I really, really, in my soul, believe that it doesn’t work.

[00:11:16] Abby McKendry: I think sometimes when you are part of a course or a community that does have these thousands and thousands of followers, it almost sometimes feels, especially for at the beginning of your journey, you have a smaller audience. It can feel intimidating to go against the grain and kind of say this isn’t working.

[00:11:32] And so you almost, well, I personally felt like I couldn’t, I felt there was something wrong with me. Rather than the course that I was consuming of, Oh, well, this clearly works for her. It’s worked for all these people that she has testimonials for. Why isn’t it working for me? It must be me. But as you say, it, what aligns with us, what works for us, how we show up, our energy flows, it’s different for everybody.

[00:11:56] And that’s why cookie cutter strategies don’t work [00:12:00] for most people. And also what I really discovered throughout this time of like burnout and trying to build my business in it. These strategies not working for me, as well as it being things that don’t align and that don’t work with like my energy and who I am as a person, these things didn’t align with my vision of the kind of business that I want to create.

[00:12:20] And that’s something that is so important for me with my clients is that everyone’s different and we always do an exercise no matter where somebody is, when they come to work with me in their business, whether they’ve been in it for two months or five years. It’s almost like realigning and getting really clear on that vision of why did I start my business?

[00:12:37] What do I want my life to look like? Because if I wanted to work four hour days and make, let’s say 10 K months, can I do this with this cookie cutter strategy that has me showing up every single day, going on live every single day? Well, no, because that’s not the kind of life that I want to create it.

[00:12:54] That’s not my vision of success. So as you say, it’s aligning it to who we are and how we work, but [00:13:00] also what success looks like for us, because it’s different for everybody, right?

[00:13:03] Andrea Elibero: You are, you’re like the marketing coaching side of my life, like we need to come together because I have, like literally I do the same thing and I love this, like I’m so happy, yeah, I like start with your dream life vision, what is it that you want, what is your version of success, like we’re this happy.

[00:13:21] Abby McKendry: We’re so the same. I think it’s because we have that shared experience that’s been so similar of how we’ve got to the point where we are now, that we know what it takes and we don’t want other people to go through that. So like, I love that we’re so aligned with that.

[00:13:33] Andrea Elibero: Yeah, so getting back, sorry, I’m like having, I’m just here for my own conversation.

[00:13:38] Abby McKendry: No, I love it. Me too.

[00:13:41] Andrea Elibero: So, okay, so you’re in this program, you’re doing things that are not aligned with you, so how does this lead to your burnout?

[00:13:49] Abby McKendry: So I get to a place where I’m offering all these done for you services. I am on discovery calls all the time. I’m selling in a way that I’m taught. [00:14:00] But it doesn’t feel good to me. Every time I have to get on a discovery call, it feels icky. I don’t follow the things I’m supposed to do because in my, in my heart, in my soul, I just can’t because that’s just not me as a person.

[00:14:11] And again, I start doubting myself of, Oh, I’m not made for this because this is the way we’re supposed to do things, because this is what, The online noise of saying, this is what these super successful people are saying. And so I tried to build my business in that way. I carried on like that for a while.

[00:14:25] And it just hit a point where I was so miserable because it didn’t feel good. I, that vision of why I started my business. I wasn’t living that I, I was doing the opposite and also. I was just working so much and with strategies that didn’t align to me, that didn’t feel good for me. And I got to a point where I didn’t even realize it was burnout at the time, but it built up and built up and I was just exhausted.

[00:14:51] And it got to the point where I felt so miserable. I felt lethargic. I was getting ill all the time. I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt every day just felt like this [00:15:00] impending doom. And it was because I hadn’t done things in a way that felt good for me, in a way that was creating the life that I wanted to create.

[00:15:09] And so I really had to like strip everything back and not start again because I’d learned so much, but really like redefine and realign my whole business to make sure that doesn’t ever happen again.

[00:15:20] Andrea Elibero: Yeah. And I want to get into a little bit more detail in this time period, because I feel like a lot of people are teetering on this edge of burnout and it’s, it can be difficult to recognize. So if you could share maybe some of the, if you recall, some of the starting, like the things that were kind of building up that you didn’t realize were burnout at the time, but looking back, you’re like, Oh yeah, like this was not a good sign.

[00:15:45] Abby McKendry: Sure. So I’ve experienced like high functioning anxiety in my entire life. And it’s something that I have always in my adult years, pretty much had under control. There’s been flare ups and it’s something that I just now know how to [00:16:00] cope with. Um, And I felt that anxiety creeping in more and more and more these bouts of anxiety, where it was just so overwhelming normal things in my day to day life away from my business that wouldn’t usually cause me anxiety, like getting on public transport being in a crowded bar or store store.

[00:16:19] These things that previously. I had under control. I hadn’t experienced for years. They started to creep in again and I didn’t make the connection. It was because I was so exhausted. I was so stressed. I was under so much pressure that it presented itself in this anxiety flare up. I hadn’t experienced it.

[00:16:36] I’d had a handle on for so many years. That was kind of the first thing. And then I just noticed like my mood in terms of like me as a person. I didn’t want to do the things I would usually do. I just, I would wake up and I would feel numb almost to a point where I was almost, I was just functioning on autopilot.

[00:16:58] I was turning up doing [00:17:00] XYZ for my business. I’d lost that passion. I just didn’t feel excited about my business anymore. I didn’t feel That like excitement and desire that you have at the store, or, you know, when you create a new offer, when you sign a new client, I was signing clients. I was making more money than I’d ever made like in my corporate job or previously in my business.

[00:17:21] And it just felt numb. And it was those signs of like the anxiety, the lack of enjoyment and excitement and me personally just feeling like a shell of a person. I definitely, if I’d have known about burnout and what it was, I could have spotted that a lot earlier, but unfortunately it got to the point where I kind of just crashed and it took me, I had to take like three months out of my business.

[00:17:46] To really rebuild and for my mental health and to get better. So it was a rough time, but at the same time, if I didn’t go through that, I wouldn’t have learned what I learned now. And I won’t be able to make sure that anyone I work with doesn’t have to go through [00:18:00] that themselves. It’s those signs to look out for, as you say, and making sure that you catch it and you aren’t doing the things that are going to lead you to that in the

[00:18:08] Andrea Elibero: Yeah, it’s so important. And the other thing that I think is really important that you said was this connection between, Oh, because again, I had the same experience, Oh, I’ve made, I’m making more money than I ever have. And it means nothing because everybody is, you know, all of the marketing that you see is like, Oh, I’m going to get you to make this much money.

[00:18:28] And I’m so tired of this because I’m like, I don’t care, you know, cause it’s not about that. Yes. Like, yeah, sure. Yes. This is great. Making money is great, but not if that’s how you’re feeling when you’re doing it. Cause then it means absolutely nothing.

[00:18:40] Abby McKendry: Yeah, you’re told it’s going to feel a certain way. And I mean, it should, I, I come from a very working class background. I’ve never had the privilege of having disposable income or anything like that. So extra, it should have had that extra feeling of like, wow, this is incredible on top of it being an amazing achievement anyway.

[00:18:58] But for me, who’s never had wealth [00:19:00] before, I expected it to feel a certain way, but because I wasn’t doing it in a way that felt good because I was heading for burnout, because things weren’t aligned. I remember looking like getting my first ever 5, 000 pound month. And it all came from one client actually, at the start of a month, I signed a client and I remember just looking at my bank balance and thinking, Oh yeah, that’s cool.

[00:19:20] And I’m like me before that would have been just so overwhelmed and excited and so hyped to see that. But because of where I was mentally. It just didn’t feel like I’d expected it to feel. It didn’t feel like these, you know, the content that you see, telling you to create a 10 K month, a 20 K month. For me, when it actually happened and I’m looking at these figures, it all comes down to that.

[00:19:45] Okay. But why, why do you want a 5K month? Why do you want a 10 K month? What does that mean to you? And how do you want to do it in a way that feels good and that it does have the feelings that you’re expecting it? Cause it is amazing, but you need it to feel that way too.

[00:19:59] Andrea Elibero: Yeah. [00:20:00] What’s the money for? Exactly. The money, the money is a tool and it needs a purpose. And you’re like, this is, this is my plan for it. And this is what I want to do. Otherwise it’s just empty. And it’s like, I don’t know, like exactly what you were saying. Like, yeah. Mm hmm. Okay, so let’s get to a more happier portion of, so this is the, the lead up and then you pivoted into a whole different thing, into marketing and messaging coaching.

[00:20:23] So I am sure that there was a whole process involved in this. And so can you take us through? What led you, so after this burnout, so you took, you took three months off, that was significant. Did you stop doing, like, any work at all? Did you close out all of your clients? What was happening in that time?

[00:20:40] Abby McKendry: So I still, I kept my clients that I had. So I had two or three clients that I was still showing up for that. I was still completing the work, but I wasn’t showing up on social media. I wasn’t doing any outreach, any lead generation or anything. I was just serving, basically doing the bare minimum of what I needed to do for my, my business to run [00:21:00] and for my clients to still, um, you Have that client experience.

[00:21:03] I was showing up for them, but I wasn’t doing anything else in terms of lead generation, showing on social media, anything. Um, and that really helped because then I also had this time back to re evaluate and, you know, Look at the clients that I was working with and which ones felt aligned and what felt good.

[00:21:21] What, what did I enjoy? Like what brought me joy? Not just what brought me the most financially, but what brought me the most in terms of like my heart or my soul and how I feel about my business and getting back to that point. And so, as I say, I was just doing this work for the three clients I had at the time on Retainer.

[00:21:40] And then I did a lot of reflecting. I took a lot of long walks, headphones in, listening to podcasts, listening to music, just feeling things out, just going back to that reason of why I started my business and what that meant and how that needed to look. I talked to a lot of [00:22:00] friends. I talked to my husband and it was really just like, Redefining what it meant for me to have my business and what life I was trying to create with that.

[00:22:11] And getting back to a place where mentally I felt good again, I felt strong again, and that did take three months, but I feel like mental health in business is something that needs to be taken so seriously. Cause it can be quite lonely as well, and it can be filled with pressure. And so I really wanted to take the time to make sure that. I didn’t just do, I didn’t just feel okay and came back. I wanted to feel strong before I came back and certain and have this clarity. And so when I did, I also reached out to a coach who I’d known as like a friend for quite a while, and she was mindset coach and I did work with her as well. So I think just like re, Coming back into yourself and what you enjoy and what lights you up and what you stand for and speaking to people around you, whether that’s people in your life or a coach or [00:23:00] friend you’ve made in the online business space.

[00:23:02] That really helped me gain clarity on what I needed and wanted my business to look like moving forward.

[00:23:09] Andrea Elibero: That’s beautiful. And yeah, I 100 percent agree. Of course, I 100 percent agree with everything that you’re saying, because we’ve determined that we’re already, we’ve, we’re the same. Yeah. Yes. And, and yeah, so, so finding an aligned coach, finding, you know, getting rid of the noise and just returning to yourself.

[00:23:27] self and creating the space. It really sounds like you created the space. You were out in nature, you know, you really got back in touch with yourself and what you actually wanted and had other people around you to be able to support you in that time and you didn’t rush back. You took the time necessary to become realigned so you could, like you said, be strong and start back in and feel good about it.

[00:23:49] Not just like, okay, I’m here because you know, I’m sure that if you hadn’t done that, you would have just Sliding down the slope again, like back into burnout. So, so, did you was at this time that you just [00:24:00] switched everything into coaching or how what did that actual pivot look like?

[00:24:05] Abby McKendry: So when I was focusing and talking about what it was that lit me up, and I also look at, looked at my most aligned clients, so who I enjoyed working with the most, who it felt the best to work with, what they all had in common with each other and with me that made it feel, So right and those things together I came to the conclusion that a lot of people more and more people were coming to me for strategy and for coaching Rather than done for you So i’d take on done for you clients and then there’d be a point where they’d be like, oh I’m having this struggle today in my business or my messaging.

[00:24:41] This just doesn’t feel right. And if we’d look at it together and I’d automatically know just because of who I am as a person, I’m very intuitive. I’m very sensitive. I’m connected. I already automatically knew what questions to ask them, which ways to lean the conversations for them to discover the answers that they already had.

[00:24:59] And so [00:25:00] I was coaching without realizing I was coaching and people were coming to me from recommendations of, Oh, I can see that you do these done few services, but do you offer strategy sessions? Do you offer a one off call to help me discover X, Y, Z? And I would realize that the people that felt most aligned, the recommendations I was getting from them, the calls that I love showing up for the services that I love doing, it was all based around.

[00:25:27] Coaching and mentorship. And I’ve always been that person in my friendship group of like the go to for advice and support. And I realized that I had this incredible tool that I was accidentally using in my business, like without realizing how special it was. And so naturally people started coming to me for coaching and mentorship without me even promoting it.

[00:25:51] And when I did that work to reconnect and look at what felt good, that was what stood out for me, helping people in this way, using my [00:26:00] abilities to connect with people and my intuition and this ability to feel things out in situations and understand people. Those things felt really good and they were what people were coming to me for.

[00:26:10] And so I naturally Started exploring, coaching, a mentorship started out with one to one sessions. They quickly got booked out and I started signing people from them into one to one coaching. And then from now really been opening up like different offers and growing my business in line with that. Always coming back to that route of like what feels really good and who’s most aligned.

[00:26:30] Andrea Elibero: So, so the story is, yeah, it’s really cool. And the thing that I find too, when I talk to people, when I talk to my clients about, Oh, like, you know, what’s your unique magic? Like, like, let’s figure out what’s that thing. It’s always a thing that you don’t realize that is special about you. Cause it comes easy to you.

[00:26:49] So It can be difficult on your own to figure out what is that thing, you know, what’s that thing that you’re so good at, the thing that you love, the thing that fills and flow, the thing that energizes you [00:27:00] without this really purposeful introspection, because it’s easy for you and you think, Oh, but everybody can do that.

[00:27:06] And it’s so interesting when you’re like, oh, not everybody can do that, right? Like everybody’s magic is different. And yeah, and so was it, or it sounds like it was a combination of a lot of things that helped you figure out what that magic is for you. That like coaching was where it was like the thing.

[00:27:25] Abby McKendry: Yeah, it was what people were coming to me for, as I say, without me even talking about it, without me even noticing. And it was something I’ve been doing my whole life with. Family and friends, not obviously coaching, but you know, the way that you have those conversations and you ask questions. And I’ve, I’ve actually talked about this recently on Instagram that I’ve been told my entire life that I’m too sensitive and I always took that as a really negative thing, but for me, When I was doing this process of like realigning my business and recovering from burnout, I realized then that being too sensitive is actually, as I like to [00:28:00] call it, my superpower, because it is that thing that you have that you don’t realize not everybody has.

[00:28:06] It allows me to be super in tune with people and emotions and understand situations very quickly. It helps me to be incredibly empathetic. So I can understand situations where my clients need me, but I’m also to like celebrate. Their wins, I can figure out what their audience need to see and hear from them in order to feel and feel activated.

[00:28:26] And it’s these things, like you say, you don’t, that for me was something that I always thought was a part of me that maybe was negative, but actually it’s become such a huge part of my business. And I say this to my clients in helping them discover that special part about themselves, their unique energy, their power.

[00:28:43] Is that there’ll be something about you that you either don’t realize, or maybe you’ve been told is too much in the past. And that is actually the thing that you can offer your audience. And that’s going to make you stand out to dream clients.

[00:28:54] Andrea Elibero: Yep, 100%, 100%. So now, when was this, this [00:29:00] transition, how long ago was, was it?

[00:29:02] Abby McKendry: So last, the start of last year is when I hit my burnout and I was recovering. So it’s been about a year now that I fully been back in my business and building things the way I want to.

[00:29:13] Andrea Elibero: Very cool. So in this year period where now you’re like, okay, I get how to do this, you know, we’re doing this in an aligned way, we’re doing this, we’re feeling into it, being more intuitive, walking out all of this other noise. When you are making decisions, what is it, what is your process in terms of, okay, like, what should I do?

[00:29:32] You know, I want to launch something new, or I have this idea. What is your process in knowing that for you, this is the right way? This is the way to go.

[00:29:41] Abby McKendry: So I often get like downloads or ideas when I’m in places that connect with me. So for me, it’s often when I’m walking, when I’m in nature, everybody, it’s different. And as my client says, one, she always, whenever she’s on the treadmill, she gets these downloads. So find your space, that space where you get this [00:30:00] inspiration.

[00:30:00] And this is mostly at the time where my ideas come to me. Sometimes they come off the back of conversations. And then I sit with it. I used to be quite impulsive and be like, okay, does this work with what everyone else is doing? But I sit with it and feel it out. And I ask myself specific questions of, first of all, does this thing feel good?

[00:30:19] Does it feel good? Like in my heart and my soul and my body, does it feel like a good business decision? Does it feel like a good decision for me? Then, will this take me closer to where I want to be? So getting really clear on that vision of the life I want to create. Does this, whatever it is, it’s an offer, it’s a decision, a pivot, does that take me closer to where I want to be and the kind of life I want to be living?

[00:30:42] And then, does it embody what I stand for and what I help my clients achieve? So asking yourself those questions to make sure that this idea, this suggestion, this pivot aligns with where you are at, [00:31:00] your values, what you stand for, your clients and where you want to be. So I always check in on those things and make sure that it is going to take me to those places and that it’s going to feel really good while I’m doing it.

[00:31:10] Andrea Elibero: Do you know what I’m going to tell you, right? I’m going to tell you that

[00:31:12] Abby McKendry: You do the same.

[00:31:15] Andrea Elibero: now versus, so, so I want to give an example because I think that, that, that this helps, right? To like really kind of like, okay, this is what this looks like. So, so when I first started coaching, um, not when I first started, but when I created my first group program, I was like, okay, I’m going to create like a, Four week just like group we meet twice a week.

[00:31:36] Like I give them all the information like let’s go and like because because I don’t know why Right because like I was like, let’s do this and Very good program, you know, i’m not Not knocking it. I did I served I did my thing But I realized that that’s not me, like, like what I value is the actual deep transformation and this tiny container where, where there’s not time for [00:32:00] that to actually like hold somebody through the transformation is not aligned with me and where I serve the best.

[00:32:07] So then in my next group program, the one that I’m running now, it’s six months long, a six month long container where we go through, you know, like the whole. Transformation. Because that’s what feels good for me. That’s where I like to serve people. Like, I felt like not empty, but like almost empty. Like, okay, like, there you go.

[00:32:23] Here’s all the stuff you need. Now go run with it. I didn’t feel like I was serving people the way that I, that I like wanted to serve people, but I didn’t realize that at the time. So that’s where like the sitting and these making these decisions of, and the exact process that you said was amazing summary.

[00:32:38] And I put you on the spot for that. I did not prepare you. So, really good job of, you know, asking yourself, like, how does it feel? Like, how does this align with my vision? Like, am I serving people the way that I want to serve? Like, you know, all of these things, like, it’s so important because of this exact, exact reason.

[00:32:55] And I love that you summarized that so, like, so succinctly.[00:33:00] 

[00:33:00] Abby McKendry: Yeah, I think as well, like you say about that program that you did and you didn’t have a reason behind it and you just did it. I feel like we all have times and moments and offers in our business like that, but it’s important not to, you know, put yourself down for that because it, owning a business is just one.

[00:33:17] Big journey, and we are going to have offers that don’t always work out the way we expected. And it is a process of like trial and error and discover. I feel like sometimes to discover what you want and to discover what feels good, you have to try things. And it’s all part of the process in that if something hasn’t worked out.

[00:33:36] Don’t beat yourself up about it. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything about your expertise or your ability. It’s just, we all need to try these things and we can learn from that. And that’s the important thing that if you make mistakes or you have a, like you say, a program that it was fine, you put your heart into it, but it didn’t feel how you expected it to, learn from that.

[00:33:55] As long as you learn from these things and then apply them to your business, that’s a win [00:34:00] for me.

[00:34:00] Andrea Elibero: The only failure is, is giving up.

[00:34:04] Abby McKendry: 100%.

[00:34:04] Andrea Elibero: the only failure. So what are, okay. So what do you do now? What are your current offers? What are you doing in your business? How do you help your people?

[00:34:12] Abby McKendry: So I now help people build marketing strategies and craft their messaging in a way that helps them. Unlock these big money shifts, but in a way that is really aligned and in a way that they become known for who they are as well as what they do. So I offer one to one coaching, which is a 12 week program to begin with can be more, I have a lot of people stay on with me for longer, and that’s really, really tailored.

[00:34:39] To your unique vision, your business, because of everything that we’ve talked about, everybody is different, how to scale in a way that serves you as well as helps you reach these goals and create the life that you started your business for. So that is the heart and soul of my business is my one to one coaching.

[00:34:55] I also offer one to one messaging mastery sessions. Sessions. So [00:35:00] really digging deep into messaging and positioning and helping people speak to that audience in a way, again, that feels really good and calls in these dream clients on repeat. And I am also working at the moment on a. Group container of some sort, but it is a work in process because of everything we’ve said, I want it to be right.

[00:35:20] I want it to feel really good. I’m speaking to my audience. I’m speaking to my clients. I’m in this process of feeling stuff out, which is super, super exciting. And that’s something that I’m going to be introducing as well. But as we say, I want it to be right. I want it to feel really good.

[00:35:33] Andrea Elibero: Amazing. So you guys would be Remiss, if you want to get into marketing messaging, really refine that and not talk to Abby. Just in this conversation, I’m already convinced that, like, go to her and talk about this. Where can we connect with you? Any gifts, anything like that, please share.

[00:35:56] Abby McKendry: So I hang out most on Instagram and threads [00:36:00] and my handler is abby. mckendry. Um, you can also find out more about me, my offers on my website, which is abbymckendry. com. And I’m always open for DMs, conversations. I’m all about connection. So if anybody does have any questions or anything about what I’ve said, my story resonates, please, please reach out because I’m always up for new connections and conversations.

[00:36:19] Andrea Elibero: Amazing. Thank you so much. My, my counterpart, my marketing counterpart to all of this, this is so exciting and thank you for sharing and really being vulnerable and diving deep into everything. I think that this, there were so many nuggets in here that are so useful for everybody. So thank you so much for being here today.

[00:36:38] Abby McKendry: Thank you for having me. I love what you do. So it’s been so, so good to be part of it. 

[00:36:43] Andrea Elibero: Thank you so much for joining us today. I really hope you found inspiration and insights from today’s episode. You know, scaling your business intentionally and from the inside out is a transformational process, but [00:37:00] I’m here to support you every step of the way. Head on over to dancingleafsolutions. com slash resources for free tools to help you do just that.

[00:37:08] And thank you again for being a part of the Soulpreneur Scaling Stories community, your presence and dedication to growth, inspiring me every day.